If I only knew where to begin

My thoughts are ongoing toward pondering how will I be able to handle this pain as the time nears of the one year anniversary of losing mom.  I get choked up just thinking about it...I just don't want that day to come as I try to comprehend how I have even made it this long without her.  I cannot explain the pain that still resides inside my heart each day from losing my mom.  My mom is gone and I cannot reach out to her, talk to her or just listen to her.  I don't even know what more I can even write as the tears are pouring down my cheeks from the sadness of losing such a beautiful person. 

Here is a plumeria for you mom...you loved this flower.  Probably because its appearance is glowing with love, peace and acceptance.  This completely describes the person you were and always will be to my heart.  I miss you mom...someday I can see you again...someday...